So Sue Me

Yeah, I am a slack bitch. Whatever.

Anyway, I was just reading this awesome post, and the awesome comments, and it inspired me to share my own childrens' awesomeness.

N and G like to be nude whenever possible. Being boys, they are obsessed with their penises. They are also within that magical age range where they are learning about bodies and the anatomical differences between men and women. So they are talking about their penises, and how poor mommy doesn't have one. Mommy has a 'gina. G tucks his little penis into his clamped thighs and says, "Is this a 'gina?" N snorts and replies, "No way." Then he adds with a small measure of disgust, "'Ginas are hairy."

This is a slight improvement from recent days when they referred to my genital region as a butt. As in, "Why do you pee from your butt?" One day, fresh out of the shower and getting dressed for the day, G wandered through the room of naked bodies telling us, "Ha ha, I see your penis. Ha ha, I see your butt." When he got to me, he glanced at my crotch and said, "Ha ha, I see your...butt-stuff."

Continuing in this vein, I remember the day I took N with me to a midwife appointment, as I always did. I was pregnant with G then, and N was 2. The appointment started with me collecting a urine sample to test for proteins and sugars. Usually N played in the waiting room while I used the nearby washroom, but this time he opted to come in with me. He watched intently as I filled my little plastic cup, and his eyes got big. I was formulating how I could explain that people only pee in cups under very special circumstances, when he interrupted my frantically whirring brain with an excited, "Mom! Juice! Butt!" He was clearly in awe of me. Why had I never told him I could make juice with my butt? Milk from one end and juice from the other--I was amazing. All this and I can sew too! Is there no end to my superpowers?

In other news, I took both my big boys to school today. It was a long day, as I lurked around the halls all day with the baby tied to me, spying on my kids as they met teachers and kids and toured the school. I think the day went relatively well, and I look forward to the day I can dump them without qualms (from them or me) and run gleefully away for a few hours with just one kid to wrangle. Yay school! Viva l'education!