He Works Hard For The Money

Just learned that my sweet baboo won the high-stakes office poker tournament. Woohoo!

The kids had their Christmas concert today. It was so sweet--G and N looked spiff, and enjoyed themselves thoroughly, although G didn't even pretend to sing. He claimed he didn't know the songs, but he belted them out on the drive home. Ah well, he still looked cute.

Baby J got his first haircut today. His baby mullet was becoming a bit much for me. Still, I was wistful about snipping it--such a big step toward being a big kid. His brothers had their shags clipped off a few weeks ago while I was out of town (sneaky dad), and they look shockingly different. G in particular looks much more grown up. It's unsettling sometimes, to see them becoming actual people, rather than teeny little drooling blobs. I am so proud of these boys.

I did a little photo editing tonight, and created a passable holiday photo. I had to cut and paste two heads into another photo in order to get all three kids smiling in the same shot. Now two of them look slightly bobbleheaded, since the sizes don't quite match up. Close, but not quite. But I think it will go unnoticed, so I'm letting it ride.

I have been on a rollercoaster of med-lessness and new meds, and now I am about to discontinue the new meds. Everything I've read about them freaks me out more and more. They are terribly addictive, and their short half-life means if I am late with a dose or miss one, I will be plunged into withdrawal hell within a few hours of the usual dosage time. I missed a dose this week and spent a day spiraling rapidly from irritability to insane bitchiness to scary crying jag to suicidal thoughts. It was a freakishly rapid descent, and to a much greater depth of misery than I had been experiencing while I was med-free. I took my pale pink capsule that night at the regular time, and the next day was business as usual, except that I was a bit worn out.

Because J and G are still nursing, I am also concerned about the effects of this drug on them. I've been reassured that I am on a low dosage, the transfer is negligible, blah blah blah....but it's not something I am willing to risk. So now I am switching to half doses, and we'll see if I can keep my shit together.

I am so lucky to have a supportive partner. Especially one that occasionally brings home a poker pot. Momma needs a new pair o' shoes!